THE ANTI-WEDDING CHECKLIST: 15 wedding traditions you can totally skip (and what to do instead)

Let’s get one thing straight: you don’t have to do anything on your wedding day that doesn’t feel like *you.*

This is your official permission slip to toss the rulebook and plan a wedding that feels fun, meaningful, and stress-free — not staged. Here are 15 common wedding traditions you can totally skip (guilt-free), plus what to do instead if you're craving something different.

The All-Day Wedding Itinerary

Skip: A packed, 12-hour timeline

Instead: A slow morning, a midday ceremony, or even photos the *day after*

Weddings don’t have to be marathons. The best photos happen when you’re not rushing. Build in buffer time. Take a nap. Eat snacks.

The Wedding Party Lineup

Skip: 12 mismatched bridesmaids and groomsmen

Instead: A best friend or two. Or no one. Or everyone in your friend group gets a mic at the reception.

No matching dresses required.

The Traditional First Look

Skip: The choreographed couples first look just because you “should”

Instead: A private moment when it feels right. Or just see each other at the ceremony — it still hits.

Spoiler: either way, the emotions are real.

The Wedding Guest Book

Skip: A dusty hardcover no one opens after

Instead: An audio guestbook, a vintage typewriter station, or Polaroids with messages

Let your people get weird. You’ll actually want to read (or listen to) it later.

The Cake Cutting

Skip: The two-on-one cake slice photo.

Instead: Pie bar. Donuts. Champagne tower. Or skip dessert altogether and serve late-night fries.

Choose your version of a treat-yourself moment.

The Matching Robes and Getting Ready Photos

Skip: Satin robes you’ll never wear again

Instead: Get ready in your own clothes. Or vintage tees. Or nothing.

The vibe? Comfort > performative matching sets.

The Ceremony Seating Chart

Skip: “Bride’s side vs. groom’s side”

Instead: Sit wherever. Circle up. Lounge chairs. Standing-room only.

It’s a vibe shift.

The Bouquet Toss

Skip: Forcing your single friends to scramble

Instead: Hand your bouquet to someone meaningful. Or press the flowers and keep them.

Zero awkwardness. Maximum sentiment.

The Go-To Wedding Playlist

Skip: The Cha Cha slide, the cheesy wedding songs

Instead: A playlist that actually slaps. Let your people dance to what they *actually* love.

Or get a friend to DJ and throw the rules out entirely.

The Seating Chart

Skip: Perfectly organized table assignments

Instead: Open seating. Communal-style tables. Lounge setups. Seating by theme. Or zodiac sign.

You’re not hosting a gala. You’re throwing a party.

The Traditional Ceremony Script

Skip: The boilerplate officiant speech

Instead: Write your own vows. Have a friend marry you. Make the ceremony weird and wonderful.

Let it be messy and real and full of inside jokes.

The Sparkler Exit

Skip: The staged 10PM sparkler walk

Instead: Stay late. Dance ‘til the end. Or do an Irish goodbye.

You don’t need an exit if you don’t want to leave.

The Formal Group Shots

Skip: A full hour of posed family photos

Instead: A few meaningful group shots, then let everyone live their lives.

The real memories happen in the in-between moments.

The “Perfect” Dress or Suit

Skip: Spending $5,000 on something you’ll wear once

Instead: Thrift it. Rent it. Custom dye it. Wear boots. Go full chaos glam.

Dress like the main character you *actually* are.

TL;DR

If it feels forced, skip it. If it makes you smile, keep it. Weddings in 2025 and 2026 are becoming more intentional, more emotional, and way more *authentic.*

So make your own rules. Break the ones that don’t serve you. And if you want someone to document the chaos, joy, and in-between moments that actually matter — I’d love to be your Portland wedding photographer.